Ruth's Viola

     Howdy, the name's Winston. If you do not realize this, I am typing slowly because of my exhaustion. You remember my weekly naps, and how Ruth has been vacuuming during my napping schedule, so I changed the timing of my naps. I finally got sleep, but then I heard the worst noise a man could have suffered in his whole life. Ruth has been practicing the viola during MY resting hours.

    I know what you're thinking, " Sleep outside on your rocking chair", well, you're wrong in two ways. One, Ruth's racket can be heard through the wooden cabin of mine, even worse, it echoes! Two, once a man is off guard, a girl scout appears. They wake you up and there is no time to escape!

   Don't get me wrong the viola is a wonderful instrument, I listen to it in the Saturday plays with Myron. However, Ruth cannot make a sound! Her squeaking is the only music coming from the strings. Also, I was on the window browser when I realized that a viola costs 45,000 pennies! Where is Ruth getting such money? It was as clear as the bullet Myron shot at me! My dear, lovely Ruth was robbing banks.

  This is not just an inference, it is a fact. Earlier today I noticed Ruth with a flowered hat. The hat was not a present from me. Why else wasn't she wearing the hat I gave her? Sure it was a little bit of a heavy hat, with a couple of holes, but back in my day, it would be an honor such an article of clothing. Shoot! I just heard Ruth open her viola case, see ya!


  Its been a while since I decided to come on to the internet. I hate my husband. But I hate his mother so much more. She thought it would be cute to buy a girl scout cookie box. That's O.K with me. Unless she uses MY MONEY! I don't have a lot of money... That's why I steal. My girlfriends and I go to Oregon's National Bank every Saturday and act as a homeless old girl scout and they make it rain millions! I bought a new hat just the other day. The one Winston bought me looked like beaver pellets. It smelled like it too. I want to talk more so give me a minute to put away my viola.

  Have I gone deaf? Whew! By the way, I just remembered a very important detail about the hat that I gave Ruth. The answer was in the diary I wrote when I was in love with Ruth. The hat was the one I had worn when Myron shot me in the military. That day, I thought that if I had died what would I have left for Ruth? That day I stored up some money and bought Ruth a golden necklace with my name on it. 24 carrots. I hid it in the hat I gave her. Since then I still haven't died. I was such a fool! Now Ruth is stealing, she probably will sell the necklace.