How I met Winston

 How I Met Winston the Whiner

  So today at my book club, fat old Beth asked me how I met Winston. I don’t even know why she cares about true love- she’s dating at LEAST 4 guys. Is one Winny? Anyway, I’ll send Elise to bombard her with girl scouts later. Here is how I met the love of my life.

  I was at a pub, and I got this sudden urge for Rum. The bar was super busy, because the military was off on a break. I didn’t mind. They were all handsome. Anyway, after a long time explaining what Rum was, and the longest wait, I got this tiny little shot glass full of water. WHAT! I was just about to take out my gun, when I realized hey. I could use a little water. So I grabbed the bartender by the collar and said, “Where is the ice, bonnie lass!?” and this other handsome lass said, “YEA WHERE IS THE ICE” and he and his brave military friend went to look for some. After 2 hours of boring conversation with the old man next to me, they gallantly waltzed in with 5 cubes of ice. By the time it reached me, I had already chugged the water and yelled “WHERE IS MY RUM”. 

    No matter how much Winny annoys me, he will always be the romantic of 1955, I remember my first date with Winny, instead of being the classic guy, he bought me a bouquet of ice! I put it in water immediately and through out the flowers.
            Bye!