Winston's feeling spicy

Howdy folks,

Winston here and I'M STILL NOT DEAD (don't tell Ruth).

Myron and I have decided to run away together. Ruth and Shinshina have been driving us bonkers lately, with their violas and vacuum cleaning. We've been on the road for exactly 3.1hours and 18 miles. Myron has to stop every half-hour to pee, so we haven't gotten very far. That may be a good thing since we still don't know where we're going. Myron wants to see California, but that's too flamboyant for my standards. I want to go feed ducks. Doesn't really matter where.

It's been fifteen minutes since Myron's nature called. I hope he didn't die. He has the car keys.

I didn't want Ruth to notice I left, so I've only brought the essentials: the duck cane, some whiskey, and some butterscotches. So far I've drunk 3/4 of the whiskey and eaten all my butterscotches. The duck drank the rest. Myron brought cash and what looks like a hammer-and-sickle flag. He likes red, he said. It's absurdly quiet right now. No viola, no vacuum, not even a - MYRON GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE CAR!

Sorry folks, that's it for today. I have to go deal with something.

Love and hate from the west,



WINSTON MICERTON